This episode debuted on the internet a few weeks before the actual television debut so I sort knew what was going to happen. But didn't care. Oh, and also, Wes Anderson - take note, if NBC is doing it then you are not so clever. I will not see your new movie.
Last season wrapped up with the Panthers (hey, my hometown mascot is the Panther and if you were girl you were the mildly insulting Lady Panthers and if you were in middle school you were the really insulting Baby Panthers) anyway, the Panthers won the state championship, shocking no one. But Coach took a job in Austen shocking everyone and sparking the massive fan push to keep the show. Thank god.
So now it's summertime. Pool time. Julie is a lifeguard - whatever. I'm surprised she can see anyone in peril through those giant bangs of hers. Matt and Landry sit poolside staring at the ladies while Riggins (yum) actually does something about it. Smash is all about Smash and hope you didn't blink cause that's all you see of him this episode. You'll nothing of his bipoler bore. Start cheering now. Then Tami waddles in frame in the cutest pregnancy swimsuit ever! Where did she find it? Not that I was going to go within 300 yards of a pool when I was pregnant or anything... There's some cute banter about how she's not here to spy on Julie (she totally is) when her water breaks.
Then, the birth scene we've all been dreading...except it's awesome. Really awesome. There's no hysterics, Tami has wisely opted for an epidural. She does wish Coach were there and he makes it. Julie looks wonderfully uncomfortable but amazed at the whole process. And then Connie has a realistic looking newborn named Grace. Cue the music - It's Friday Night Lights season two ya'll.
Julie is a pill. She got what she wanted and still isn't happy. Julie is me and I am Julie. Hate her if you must but I feel her teenage pain. She has a thing for the other lifeguard who's in a band. I crushed on a boy in a band once... see,the paralells are uncanny! I also have bangs. Anyway, the "swede" (seriously, what is a swedish person doing in rural texas - that is the worst exchange program ever.) has a girlfriend, a much older girlfriend. So Julie calls her dad who is understandably upset.
Matt is boring, how weird. Get cool again Matt.
Landry and Tyra kill a guy. I'm pretending this didn't happen. But the guy was - DIDN'T HAPPEN. No, then Landry hit - DIDN'T HAPPEN. Oh, ok, fine.
Lylah is really into Jesus. To an annoying degree. It involves flyers. Ugh. Tim Riggins meets her in a parking lot and says, "You're still the best. Still number one. Never had better." - see you think he's saying it to Lylah but he's actually talking to the short dark haired girl who suddenly popped into the television. Then they jump on the hood of his car and make crazy wild Riggins love. It's true.
Jason Street - who?
Oh, and the new coach predictably sucks but I enjoy hoping he heat strokes out.
10.08.2007
10.05.2007
Wow, USA shells out buck for new intro
Truth be told, I never intended to add the third Law and Order to my viewing list. I didn't like Vincent D. or Kathryn Erbe and was fine with the Orignal and the Special. But then TNT had a marathon and I, like countless others, was thrilled to not have to think what I was going to have to do that day and tuned in. Now I love me some Goran and Eames though I'm not too down with Big and Tiny (or whatever those other two detectives are called).
The best thing about moving to USA - a new intro! It's super souped up! AWESOME! Even Danny had to admit it was worth jumping around and clapping - stopping short of air guitar.
Unfortunately, this episode was a little dull. Goran comes off of grief leave early to help Eames when her murdered husband's old partner gets himself murdered. This might be a good storyline if Katheryn Erbe could pull it off but she's just not that great an actress. Poor Goran is regulated to being bloated and weird on the sidelines.
Right away Goran realizes there is something wrong with other officer's story about going the bathroom when the victim was shot. But since he's a cop everyone gets mad at Goran for even suggesting he might be a big fat liar. Luckily the guy has a terrible eyesight problem that gives him a blind spot in the middle? or something? Anyway, Goran is right as usual. The guy was actually in his "girlfriends" car and didn't see the shooter. But he wanted to pin it on a Korean ganglord for some reason ...I'm guessing that reason has to do with our little friend Red Herring.
Anyway, it's off to victim's funeral where Eames remembers her husband and Goran stays outside. The guy's son rides up on the skateboard's retarded cousin and sqawks on about the "crazy" detective who let his dad's killer go and how "weird and hated" this detective is. Goran actually looks upset by this and I call "bullshit". Goran has never been bothered by how other detectives/cops view him. Never. So why start now? And why with a bratty little kid? Goran likes children but I can't see him being bothered by what they say. Oh did I mention this new skateboard thing is really dumb looking?
Then, another person rides up on another stoopid skateboard and shoots a guy. Of course, this guy helped put away Eames husbands killer too so now we've got a conspiracy. A boring one but there you go. They visit Joe's (the husband) killer in jail and Eames gets all "mad" i guess? The guy claims innocent and since this is Criminal Intent and Goran is on the case, you know that he is.
In the end, it was the innocent man's son - trying to get revenge for his father's unfair incarceration. Lamest motive ever. To top it all off the real killer was a kid himself when the shooting occured and became a doctor. Ha, did you think you were going to make it through a whole show without some patented slap you about the face L&O irony??.
Welcome back detectives, hope you enjoy your new network and new intro! I know I do!
The best thing about moving to USA - a new intro! It's super souped up! AWESOME! Even Danny had to admit it was worth jumping around and clapping - stopping short of air guitar.
Unfortunately, this episode was a little dull. Goran comes off of grief leave early to help Eames when her murdered husband's old partner gets himself murdered. This might be a good storyline if Katheryn Erbe could pull it off but she's just not that great an actress. Poor Goran is regulated to being bloated and weird on the sidelines.
Right away Goran realizes there is something wrong with other officer's story about going the bathroom when the victim was shot. But since he's a cop everyone gets mad at Goran for even suggesting he might be a big fat liar. Luckily the guy has a terrible eyesight problem that gives him a blind spot in the middle? or something? Anyway, Goran is right as usual. The guy was actually in his "girlfriends" car and didn't see the shooter. But he wanted to pin it on a Korean ganglord for some reason ...I'm guessing that reason has to do with our little friend Red Herring.
Anyway, it's off to victim's funeral where Eames remembers her husband and Goran stays outside. The guy's son rides up on the skateboard's retarded cousin and sqawks on about the "crazy" detective who let his dad's killer go and how "weird and hated" this detective is. Goran actually looks upset by this and I call "bullshit". Goran has never been bothered by how other detectives/cops view him. Never. So why start now? And why with a bratty little kid? Goran likes children but I can't see him being bothered by what they say. Oh did I mention this new skateboard thing is really dumb looking?
Then, another person rides up on another stoopid skateboard and shoots a guy. Of course, this guy helped put away Eames husbands killer too so now we've got a conspiracy. A boring one but there you go. They visit Joe's (the husband) killer in jail and Eames gets all "mad" i guess? The guy claims innocent and since this is Criminal Intent and Goran is on the case, you know that he is.
In the end, it was the innocent man's son - trying to get revenge for his father's unfair incarceration. Lamest motive ever. To top it all off the real killer was a kid himself when the shooting occured and became a doctor. Ha, did you think you were going to make it through a whole show without some patented slap you about the face L&O irony??.
Welcome back detectives, hope you enjoy your new network and new intro! I know I do!
10.04.2007
TV Snippets
SVYou
I used to love this show. I would crave it. When I visited Kelly in San Antonio I watched on DVD. No, it's not because it has "special" in the title. And no, it' s not completely because my man B.D. Wong (who incidentally also reads many of Laurence Yep's books-on-tape)is featured. It's because, generally, the storylines were gripping. But oh it has suffered. Mariska Hargitay is forced to wear her terrible haircut like some kind of metaphor for the show. Last week's episode was total proof. A man from Another YOUniverse (not, say, Second Life or anything) kidnaps and murders a woman cause her avatar looks like the girl he "rescued" 25 years earlier. This is the best you can come up with? How stupid, although the headquarters of "AY" were super cool, want to work there. You know what I would have done if they had the foresight to have me write this show? I would have had a woman call in a rape -then it turns out to be a virtual rape but she's got all the emotional/psychological side effects so Casey (who you will remember is a rapist herself) decides to go ahead and prosicute. And Elliot gets mad. Wouldn't that be better??? Kudos to casting for hiring a hot new Native American dectective though.
House
Don't really watch this one either. If it were called Wilson. Or even better All Wilson All the Time and No One Else. Then, I wouldn't miss it. But I watched this week because Kumar has joined the show. There was the stupid mystery and stupid Cameron came back with her stupid hair and stupid ways. But the new fellow competition is adorable and you know I love Cutty. No Foreman and barely any Cameron - YAY!
Private Practice
I decided to try it since Addison is the only thing worthwhile on Grey's Anatomy. That's right, you heard me. The show also features Tim Daly so helllllooo of course I can't miss it now right?? And it's a very cute show. I'm kind of loving it until - sick baby. Nooooo. Then turns out sick baby has been switched so the women (in a blantant plot contrivance) have to give each other back the original babies. And no, lie, I'm like sobbing on the couch. The most heartbreaking part was when Mama#1 hands over the healthy baby and takes unhealthy baby. But Mama#2 isn't cuddling or even looking at healthy baby (i'm sure they had names but I'm trying to detach here). So Mama#1 is trying to encourage her to hug the baby and you can just see in her eyes that all she wants is to know that the baby she's been raising and loves is going to be loved, that if she can just know the baby is loved then she can deal. Ugh, damn you show.
I used to love this show. I would crave it. When I visited Kelly in San Antonio I watched on DVD. No, it's not because it has "special" in the title. And no, it' s not completely because my man B.D. Wong (who incidentally also reads many of Laurence Yep's books-on-tape)is featured. It's because, generally, the storylines were gripping. But oh it has suffered. Mariska Hargitay is forced to wear her terrible haircut like some kind of metaphor for the show. Last week's episode was total proof. A man from Another YOUniverse (not, say, Second Life or anything) kidnaps and murders a woman cause her avatar looks like the girl he "rescued" 25 years earlier. This is the best you can come up with? How stupid, although the headquarters of "AY" were super cool, want to work there. You know what I would have done if they had the foresight to have me write this show? I would have had a woman call in a rape -then it turns out to be a virtual rape but she's got all the emotional/psychological side effects so Casey (who you will remember is a rapist herself) decides to go ahead and prosicute. And Elliot gets mad. Wouldn't that be better??? Kudos to casting for hiring a hot new Native American dectective though.
House
Don't really watch this one either. If it were called Wilson. Or even better All Wilson All the Time and No One Else. Then, I wouldn't miss it. But I watched this week because Kumar has joined the show. There was the stupid mystery and stupid Cameron came back with her stupid hair and stupid ways. But the new fellow competition is adorable and you know I love Cutty. No Foreman and barely any Cameron - YAY!
Private Practice
I decided to try it since Addison is the only thing worthwhile on Grey's Anatomy. That's right, you heard me. The show also features Tim Daly so helllllooo of course I can't miss it now right?? And it's a very cute show. I'm kind of loving it until - sick baby. Nooooo. Then turns out sick baby has been switched so the women (in a blantant plot contrivance) have to give each other back the original babies. And no, lie, I'm like sobbing on the couch. The most heartbreaking part was when Mama#1 hands over the healthy baby and takes unhealthy baby. But Mama#2 isn't cuddling or even looking at healthy baby (i'm sure they had names but I'm trying to detach here). So Mama#1 is trying to encourage her to hug the baby and you can just see in her eyes that all she wants is to know that the baby she's been raising and loves is going to be loved, that if she can just know the baby is loved then she can deal. Ugh, damn you show.
10.03.2007
Heroes Heroic Return
Yay!!! The best show currently on television is back in action! BLISS!
Basically last season ended with a "bang" - hee, it's a pun because the Petrelli brothers blew up! Read the prior post if you didn't catch the extravaganza.
Now, it's four months later and here is what people are up to:
Mohinder - Indian Doctor Extrodranaire
He's in India giving not very well attended lectures and standing in front of his projector. Move outta the way 'hinder! Get a Gore Crane or something. Talking with a map across your face is very ineffective although I do appreciate your attempt to cover up that hair cut. Basically, all he gets out of this is letting 10 people know that heroes can have a virus. Then he's contacted by a member of The Syndicate or whatever they call themselves. Dude can change any metal into gold so we'll call him the Bespectacled Alchemist. I'm sure he's got a real name but I can't keep up. Anyway BA wants Mo to track down and cure heroes with the virus. Cause Mo's blood IS the cure. It's like every paranoid schizophrenics worst nightmare. Mo agrees but it's just doing it as a ruse to help out Mr. Bennet. He sneakily cures, wait for it... THE HAITIAN!! Hooray! Welcome back guy. Then it's back to New York where he now lives with
Matt - Psychic Detective and Loser
Matt Parker used to be my favorite character. He was lovable and honorable, had a hot wife and a baby on the way. But that was last season - now he's annoying and questionable, lost the wife and lives with 8 year old Molly Walker. I guess I can't blame him cause Molly is about the most irritating little girl on the planet but come on Matty boy where's the spunk? And why is he not all concerned about his own child? Boo. Anyway, he's made new york detective by shooting black people. He's worried about Molly's dreams where someone uberevil is stalking her. Creeeeeppppyy. He interrogates Mama Petrelli about Kaito's murder and she screams him out of her head. Way to go mama! Matt reacts like he's been slapped and I have to give some kudos to Greg Grunberg because he does a good job with the mental acting. Speaking of Mama Petrelli....
Nathan "I've got a Rooster Nest on my Face" Petrelli
I don't even know what to say...the beard...it's...terrible. I know he's supposed to all hard up and stuff but, seriously? That is the best the costume folks could come up with? It reminds me of those godawful Domninoes commercials hocking the new oreo pizza. I can't look at it. So I don't. Next!
Peter Petrelli - MMMMMMM
He lives! I so knew he would but it's still exciting when they open up his box and there he is. I don't know about the new physique...I like Milo skinny but I'll take it anyway I can. He's all confused and doesn't know who he is and being in Ireland home of the whiskey doesn't help. So he's taken to (where else) a bar and thankfully not given a shirt. He gets beaten up, discovers his powers and is washed down by an Irish lass. Being the superhero hero that he is he busts loose and saves the day! Sweet. Saving the day a few hundred years earlier is...
Everyman's Hiro
In the most predictable plot line thus far, Hiro is setting up to be his personal hero Takezo Kensei who is actually a drunk british expat - is there any other kind? Anyway, to keep history on track he takes up the mask and saves the girl then nobly allows the brit to take the credit. This would all be a snoozefest if it weren't for the totally adorable/sweet/complex way of Hiro. Awww....
Spanish twins
One thing I really like about this show is that they aren't afraid of subtitles. They understand that when you are Japanese you speak Japanese. I like that. So the fact that the twins speak Spanish does not bother me. Nor does their slightly incestuous feeling relationship. In fact, I think it's kind of hot. What does bother me is the stupid nature of their 'powers'. First off, ummmm, how are you infected with the black oil? Call Mulder! Change shows! Second of all, quit whinnnnnyyyyinng. This duo had better get either naked or dead real fast.
Clairebear and Papa
Mr. Bennet is still supergreat. He takes a job at a "kinkos" to help hide his family. Unfortunately for him he's got a huge softspot for his indestructible daughter. Who happens to be an idiot. But I let it slide because she's 16 and we were all idiots then. And she can't help that she was spoiled rotten for the first part of her life. At school Claire meets West who can fly and who is pretentious. I miss her old gay boyfriend. I think West needs a better power than flying, like maybe the ability to only make eastward turns? Then you could have some irony. Anyway, Claire sucks at being inconspicuous what with jumping off tall things and wearing shirts that barely cover her nipples. In the end she decides to lop off a toe to see if it grows back and it does! Ewwwwwww! One wonders if the chopped off toe grew another Claire. Unfortunately, West is a perv and sees the whole thing through her window. He leaves her Chandra Suresh's book which is pointless seeing as Claire has lived it.
Minors
Ando is still Ando and I love him. Kaito gets pushed off a building. Bye!
Where art thou?
Nikki - don't care.
Micah - meh.
Sylar - previews on an island!!! How very Jordon Collier of you.
What did you think of the first two eps?
Basically last season ended with a "bang" - hee, it's a pun because the Petrelli brothers blew up! Read the prior post if you didn't catch the extravaganza.
Now, it's four months later and here is what people are up to:
Mohinder - Indian Doctor Extrodranaire
He's in India giving not very well attended lectures and standing in front of his projector. Move outta the way 'hinder! Get a Gore Crane or something. Talking with a map across your face is very ineffective although I do appreciate your attempt to cover up that hair cut. Basically, all he gets out of this is letting 10 people know that heroes can have a virus. Then he's contacted by a member of The Syndicate or whatever they call themselves. Dude can change any metal into gold so we'll call him the Bespectacled Alchemist. I'm sure he's got a real name but I can't keep up. Anyway BA wants Mo to track down and cure heroes with the virus. Cause Mo's blood IS the cure. It's like every paranoid schizophrenics worst nightmare. Mo agrees but it's just doing it as a ruse to help out Mr. Bennet. He sneakily cures, wait for it... THE HAITIAN!! Hooray! Welcome back guy. Then it's back to New York where he now lives with
Matt - Psychic Detective and Loser
Matt Parker used to be my favorite character. He was lovable and honorable, had a hot wife and a baby on the way. But that was last season - now he's annoying and questionable, lost the wife and lives with 8 year old Molly Walker. I guess I can't blame him cause Molly is about the most irritating little girl on the planet but come on Matty boy where's the spunk? And why is he not all concerned about his own child? Boo. Anyway, he's made new york detective by shooting black people. He's worried about Molly's dreams where someone uberevil is stalking her. Creeeeeppppyy. He interrogates Mama Petrelli about Kaito's murder and she screams him out of her head. Way to go mama! Matt reacts like he's been slapped and I have to give some kudos to Greg Grunberg because he does a good job with the mental acting. Speaking of Mama Petrelli....
Nathan "I've got a Rooster Nest on my Face" Petrelli
I don't even know what to say...the beard...it's...terrible. I know he's supposed to all hard up and stuff but, seriously? That is the best the costume folks could come up with? It reminds me of those godawful Domninoes commercials hocking the new oreo pizza. I can't look at it. So I don't. Next!
Peter Petrelli - MMMMMMM
He lives! I so knew he would but it's still exciting when they open up his box and there he is. I don't know about the new physique...I like Milo skinny but I'll take it anyway I can. He's all confused and doesn't know who he is and being in Ireland home of the whiskey doesn't help. So he's taken to (where else) a bar and thankfully not given a shirt. He gets beaten up, discovers his powers and is washed down by an Irish lass. Being the superhero hero that he is he busts loose and saves the day! Sweet. Saving the day a few hundred years earlier is...
Everyman's Hiro
In the most predictable plot line thus far, Hiro is setting up to be his personal hero Takezo Kensei who is actually a drunk british expat - is there any other kind? Anyway, to keep history on track he takes up the mask and saves the girl then nobly allows the brit to take the credit. This would all be a snoozefest if it weren't for the totally adorable/sweet/complex way of Hiro. Awww....
Spanish twins
One thing I really like about this show is that they aren't afraid of subtitles. They understand that when you are Japanese you speak Japanese. I like that. So the fact that the twins speak Spanish does not bother me. Nor does their slightly incestuous feeling relationship. In fact, I think it's kind of hot. What does bother me is the stupid nature of their 'powers'. First off, ummmm, how are you infected with the black oil? Call Mulder! Change shows! Second of all, quit whinnnnnyyyyinng. This duo had better get either naked or dead real fast.
Clairebear and Papa
Mr. Bennet is still supergreat. He takes a job at a "kinkos" to help hide his family. Unfortunately for him he's got a huge softspot for his indestructible daughter. Who happens to be an idiot. But I let it slide because she's 16 and we were all idiots then. And she can't help that she was spoiled rotten for the first part of her life. At school Claire meets West who can fly and who is pretentious. I miss her old gay boyfriend. I think West needs a better power than flying, like maybe the ability to only make eastward turns? Then you could have some irony. Anyway, Claire sucks at being inconspicuous what with jumping off tall things and wearing shirts that barely cover her nipples. In the end she decides to lop off a toe to see if it grows back and it does! Ewwwwwww! One wonders if the chopped off toe grew another Claire. Unfortunately, West is a perv and sees the whole thing through her window. He leaves her Chandra Suresh's book which is pointless seeing as Claire has lived it.
Minors
Ando is still Ando and I love him. Kaito gets pushed off a building. Bye!
Where art thou?
Nikki - don't care.
Micah - meh.
Sylar - previews on an island!!! How very Jordon Collier of you.
What did you think of the first two eps?
5.22.2007
Good bye forever Peter Petrelli
Aw, it's over! The best show on television and now I have to wait HOW many months to find out what's going on with Hiro??? Thank god 4400 is a summer show.
I loved the finale. Loved the "tracking device", loved a soft Bennett and a hard Bennett. "What am I thinking?", "Your last thought" BLAM! BAD ASS! Didn't like Mohinder's hair or his perperpual confusion. Isn't he supposed to be a genius? Hope Matt isn't dead...
Glad to see the Niki/DL/Micah storyline wrapped up. I have a feeling we'll see an older Micah in the second season (Vol. 2 - Generations *eeeee*) but let's pray it's the end of this split diatribe.
Didn't Peter look awesome all nuclear? Though the redemption of Nathan did spark a debate as to what sort of damage a nuclear explosion would have in space.
Sylar drags himself down a drain...whhhaaat? I don't know...that's stretching it but I'm glad he appears to be alive. And Simone came back for dreamscape - good for her.
I loved the finale. Loved the "tracking device", loved a soft Bennett and a hard Bennett. "What am I thinking?", "Your last thought" BLAM! BAD ASS! Didn't like Mohinder's hair or his perperpual confusion. Isn't he supposed to be a genius? Hope Matt isn't dead...
Glad to see the Niki/DL/Micah storyline wrapped up. I have a feeling we'll see an older Micah in the second season (Vol. 2 - Generations *eeeee*) but let's pray it's the end of this split diatribe.
Didn't Peter look awesome all nuclear? Though the redemption of Nathan did spark a debate as to what sort of damage a nuclear explosion would have in space.
Sylar drags himself down a drain...whhhaaat? I don't know...that's stretching it but I'm glad he appears to be alive. And Simone came back for dreamscape - good for her.
5.11.2007
Clairebear's got a gun nah nah nah nahnunnn
I skipped AI this week due to sleeping. Also, because no body told me how cute that Bee Gee is!!
Perhaps, I should start taping....
Heroes was pretty awesome. Except I didn't like the contrived Sylar is screwed up cause his mom loves snowglobes or whatever. Very pat for a show that has gone out of it's way to avoid easy explanations. I loooovved the living snowglobe scene, beautiful.
I love this show.
Oh, the library has no air conditioning. In May. In Georgia. Fucking county jobs.
Perhaps, I should start taping....
Heroes was pretty awesome. Except I didn't like the contrived Sylar is screwed up cause his mom loves snowglobes or whatever. Very pat for a show that has gone out of it's way to avoid easy explanations. I loooovved the living snowglobe scene, beautiful.
I love this show.
Oh, the library has no air conditioning. In May. In Georgia. Fucking county jobs.
5.02.2007
Jovi me all night long
So, I have a confession. I've kiiiiinnd of been avoid Idol. It's just boring and I don't think that's the sobriety talking. With the exit of Sanjaya I lost all interest. I didn't even turn it on last week because, seriously, inspirational songs? And Idol Gives Back? There's something about Dr. Phil and Ben Stiller "helping" poor children that makes me want to throw up. The trainwreck that is decadence meets guilt... Plus, watching children in crisis just makes me cry these days. I heard "Natalie Holloway" the other day and sure enough, a little tear.
I'm also waiting for the exposure of where the money actually went - maybe I'm cynical.
What could bring me back you ask? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Jon Bon. Awesome. I talked to my mom and told her Jon Bon was on (cause I had to take the mother call even though it meant only half paying attention to Idol, which in turn means I only half paid attention to her. I can't decide which is worse.) Anyway, she was excited as well.
We begin. Blah blah Seacrest. He's ditched the suit for a more relaxed look featuring his waxy chest. Next!
There's my man - is he wearing!?!? Ah, damn I thought his shirt said Phil Stacey but it says Philly Soul. Speaking of Phil, he's up first. Jon likes him mainly because Phil is gushing about how he's been practicing Blaze of Glory for years or something. On all other occasions (the J Lo drool, the Bennet kiss ass) I would call bullshit on this. However, this time, I think he's telling the truth. He rips it out - Shot dooooonwwwwnnn in a blaazzze of glooorrry. Yes. I love Young Guns. Also, Young Guns 2. And if there ever (god please) is a Young Guns 3 I will love it as well. Phil sounds good but the combination of his dome, brows and balls is still too overwhelming. He's like a giant Mr. Potato head in desperate need of some new parts.
Then there's Jordin who says, "My mom is gonna freak out!" ahahahaha. Poor Jon is none too pleased with this comment. Hey man, maybe her mom is hot! She sings Livin' on Prayer which is my favorite. She slaughters it though. It sucks. I'm bummed cause I like Jordin. How can you mess up Livin on a Prayer? Her Diana Ross hair leaves much to be desired as well.
Kiki banters with Ryan. He's cute, I'll admit it. She says she's never heard Bon Jovi. What the fuck people????? Jon quickly forgives her though when she totally does This Ain't a Love Song justice. Bad. ASS!!!! She stomps around the stage in a display of female strength and sensitivity, she makes the song her own without destroying it's original intent (Blake). It wins her a kiss from Simon. Barf.
Blake. Is. Dead. To. Me.
There is a fan sign that reads "Blake you make me Ache" - I'm going to take this the only way I can and give the tween major props for having a sexual awakening on national television.
Chris, once again compared to Justin Timberlake for no reason. He looks sick of it and I don't blame him. Hee, he says "someone had to do it" about his song choice, Wanted Dead or Alive. Well, you know...I mean, look someone had to do it. Too bad it's Chris. He doesn't sound too bad but he's giving the creepy eye. I don't like it. Quick hold up a mirror to deflect the gaze!
Melinda. Ok, this confirms it. Have a Nice Day and she rocks it. I'm on the Melinda bandwagon ok. Officially. When Paula asks her how she likes rocking, Melinda puts on an exhausted face with a grin and ironically makes the hard core sign. Love it. Love her. Love being won over in the final hours.
And just in case you weren't sure if this country isn't in the middle of some horrible bar joke - the Bush's show up to thank America!
Fucking George and Laura Bush. Unbelievable.
I'm also waiting for the exposure of where the money actually went - maybe I'm cynical.
What could bring me back you ask? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Jon Bon. Awesome. I talked to my mom and told her Jon Bon was on (cause I had to take the mother call even though it meant only half paying attention to Idol, which in turn means I only half paid attention to her. I can't decide which is worse.) Anyway, she was excited as well.
We begin. Blah blah Seacrest. He's ditched the suit for a more relaxed look featuring his waxy chest. Next!
There's my man - is he wearing!?!? Ah, damn I thought his shirt said Phil Stacey but it says Philly Soul. Speaking of Phil, he's up first. Jon likes him mainly because Phil is gushing about how he's been practicing Blaze of Glory for years or something. On all other occasions (the J Lo drool, the Bennet kiss ass) I would call bullshit on this. However, this time, I think he's telling the truth. He rips it out - Shot dooooonwwwwnnn in a blaazzze of glooorrry. Yes. I love Young Guns. Also, Young Guns 2. And if there ever (god please) is a Young Guns 3 I will love it as well. Phil sounds good but the combination of his dome, brows and balls is still too overwhelming. He's like a giant Mr. Potato head in desperate need of some new parts.
Then there's Jordin who says, "My mom is gonna freak out!" ahahahaha. Poor Jon is none too pleased with this comment. Hey man, maybe her mom is hot! She sings Livin' on Prayer which is my favorite. She slaughters it though. It sucks. I'm bummed cause I like Jordin. How can you mess up Livin on a Prayer? Her Diana Ross hair leaves much to be desired as well.
Kiki banters with Ryan. He's cute, I'll admit it. She says she's never heard Bon Jovi. What the fuck people????? Jon quickly forgives her though when she totally does This Ain't a Love Song justice. Bad. ASS!!!! She stomps around the stage in a display of female strength and sensitivity, she makes the song her own without destroying it's original intent (Blake). It wins her a kiss from Simon. Barf.
Blake. Is. Dead. To. Me.
There is a fan sign that reads "Blake you make me Ache" - I'm going to take this the only way I can and give the tween major props for having a sexual awakening on national television.
Chris, once again compared to Justin Timberlake for no reason. He looks sick of it and I don't blame him. Hee, he says "someone had to do it" about his song choice, Wanted Dead or Alive. Well, you know...I mean, look someone had to do it. Too bad it's Chris. He doesn't sound too bad but he's giving the creepy eye. I don't like it. Quick hold up a mirror to deflect the gaze!
Melinda. Ok, this confirms it. Have a Nice Day and she rocks it. I'm on the Melinda bandwagon ok. Officially. When Paula asks her how she likes rocking, Melinda puts on an exhausted face with a grin and ironically makes the hard core sign. Love it. Love her. Love being won over in the final hours.
And just in case you weren't sure if this country isn't in the middle of some horrible bar joke - the Bush's show up to thank America!
Fucking George and Laura Bush. Unbelievable.
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