a couple of reviews

Ok, so I've really slacked off the last couple of weeks. I just can't seem to stay awake from 7:30-9 which means I miss everything!! I missed Heroes because of class so I'm hoping to GOD it comes on this Friday. Did you see the controversy over Heroes close ties to Watchmen. They are worried plot twist in the movie will be given away. Personally, I'm way more into Heroes than I ever was with Watchmen, I mean good book but meh. Bring on the Clairebear any day.

Here's a few reviews:

Shugo Chara - looooovvvveedd it! It's a super cute shojo about a girl wanting to reveal her true self. So she gets this eggs that hatch into little people who can transform her. It's funny and adorable and has enough visual flair to work you into a fit! I gave it a starred review.

My heavenly Hockey Club - Boo. It's a sad knock off of Ouran High Host Club. The main character spends most of the time sleeping. How boring is that? Narcolepsy doesn't exactly lend itself to good character development. When she isn't sleeping, she's complaining. You're on free vacations with hot guys, SHUT UP. One cool thing was I got the prepublished version which I love getting with manga because it includes editor notes and stuff.

TRAVESTY!!!

I think you know what I'm talking about....

In other news, the greatest hoyay show on the planet Friday Night Lights is being replayed on Bravo! I know, Bravo!! Fabulous.

And Heroes is coming back.

In the way that buffets are "chinese"

Oooh calente! It's Pretend to be Latina week - which means we roll out the carpet for fame whore Yennifer Lopez, give the guys some Depp and let the girls stain their teeth with their fire-engine red lipstick. Also, it means singing a slew of Gloria Estevan songs and really fucking them up. Shall we...it's...Latin-ammmmerrrican Idol!

God, I am so sick of these themes based around the people they get. Next week, country. Gross. And there's already a show about country idols. I wish they would go back to actual entertaining themes or be themeless and just let these guys wail. It's not like the "master" classes are helping any.

Anyway, we start off with...

Melinda which is just as well - let's get it over with. She's singing Sway me Now and trying to be sexy, "I'm so not sexy"....I didn't want to be the one to say it but since you said it first.... Having my grandmother's hairstyle isn't helping her case at all. But her voice and the way she's singing this song? Pretty amazing. She finally drops the act and seems comfortable in the spotlight. Dare I say it - am I "swayed?"



Kiki - in bright red lipstick, of course. We get a whole schitck with J Lo teaching her how to say "conga", as if. WOW BOOBS! Why do people do this song? It's that really fast one by, who else, Ms. Estevan. Want to know something sad? I used to adore this song because I thought the lyrics went "love to hear her passion, love to hear it" and I thought it was about a woman who maybe lived underneath a hot latin couple who liked to have crazy loud sex to music and she would listen to it and get into the 'beat wink wink' and manage to have a good old time herself. But, thanks to this show and the number of people who can't sing this song fast enough, I now know that the lyrics are "love to hear percussion" and the song is just about liking drums and dancing. Kiki is of course butchering it but the band is doing a nice job, maybe even some authentic Mexicans in that group. What do her parents shirts say?



Chris - singing Smooth by Rob Thomas and Santana. What would be really cool is if Santana was there or hell, even Rob Thomas. But instead we get Lopez and Chris Richardson. I know. Ew, he made the hourglass sign. And. He sucks. He can't sing this song at all. You know what else? I have had it with that red light.


Haley - god, those shorts. She's singing another Gloria song, Feel the Beat. Can't go fast enough and over compensates with shouting. She blows. I'm so glad she went home. If this were an Act Like a Parade Horse Idol, she would win.


Phil - who's got a major boner for J Lo. Speaking of, why does she keep looking at the camera? He's singing Maria. I hate this song. I guess he sounds ok, downright genius by his standards. What's with the hat? Stupid phil and his stupid hats!







Jordin - ANOTHER Gloria Estevan song. She looks good but I'm changing the channel...





Blake - awww, ok he can be kind of cute. A decent fansign - Shake N' Blake! I like it. He sounds good and owns the song, per usual. I like him this week.

Is Paula wearing a wig?


Sanjaya - he's grown some facial hair! They are trying to make him look as Mexican as possible - hahahhaha. It's brilliant. And we have to give him some credit because he's the only contestant to actually sing something in Spanish. He does it well too. Next week Danny and I are going to start voting for him, since it's getting down to the wire. He handles all the criticism and Ryan's assholiness really well.

That was the show. Of course, I left out all the self-congratulatory crap that is surrounding Idol Gives Back.

300

Yup, I went and saw and at full price none the less! Beforehand we stopped to eat at a place that was called International Buffet but I didn't feel like I could eat anything there and survive so I demanded that Danny demand our money back. The guy was all "sure" as if it happened all the time.

Anyway, 300 was beautiful. Just like a moving graphic novel! Even more so than Sin City. Gratuitious T and A but that's to be expected;)

I highly recommend it.

Screw you bitch

So, ok, I've been really handling stupid comments pretty well. Like the old guy who (upon hearing Fox's name) said, "Don't do that to the poor boy." Did I mention his name is Hershal?

Or the guy who keeps "joking" you had those 3 babies yet? Riiiigggghhhtt, because I'm just so huge. I get it. Move ON!

But today I nearly lost my cool. To put money on your library card to print, you scan your barcode underneat a tiny barcode laser. Small than the ones at the store. Anyway, I show a woman how to do it and she's all "No, I can't. Should you be by this machine?" I kind of laugh, because calling this worthless money taker a machine is pretty rich. Then I'm all, "yeah". So finally she scans the card looking all worried, saying "I guess I'm old fashioned" and I'm thinking "or stupid". To put her mind at ease I say, "It's not like it contains radiation or anything". She goes, "Well, it does though." No you stupid fucking cunt it doesn't. No, no wait you're right. Here in the library we expose patrons to small amounts of radiation all in the name of printing! Then she's like, "I guess I'm just cautious and care about the state of unborn children".

Whatever.

Sing it stupid.

At first I was glad I was out of town last Tuesday. I had enough of Gwen Stefani back in 2000 so I really don't need the annoying pout and asian rip off here in '07. Then, I saw Sanjaya. Man, I love that kid. It's the first time I was ever thankful for having video on a phone. In this weird Sanjaya run universe I actually agree with Howard Stern and disagree with Randi Rhodes.

Mentored by Tony Bennet!!! Oh god, fucking WHY?? First the 60s and now Tony Bennet. Even Seacrest is dressed all in black for this funeral. Randy is wearing sparkly stuff. Paula looks like a themed dog calendar and Simon is in a t-shirt. Ahahaha, Tony is wearing a mustard coat with some stylish wire frames. Those glasses are huge! I have to say, it's nice to see a man act his age - you hear me Kenny Rogers?

Blake
Singing Mack With a Knife. Tony wants to shut Blake's "beat" down. Ew, Blake actually curled his lip. He sounds ok, I wish I knew or liked this song. It's about sharks and shark bites...or poker maybe..or church. It's confusing. I think Blake will go to the end. He's pretty charismatic. Randy thought this was the perfect song for him because he's "jazzy cool". Paula says "pizazzzzzz" "hip cat". In an upnote, the commercial features one of my favorite old songs "What'll I do".

Mr. Bean and Harry Potter are on line for the "Idol Give's Back" thing....

Leukemia Phil
It must be senior home day. Phil is in an atrocious argyle sweater and needs to shave his receding hairline again. Tony Bennet is going deaf, he mentions something about Phil being a good singer... He's singing Day and Night, ugh, it's terrible. His head keeps wiggling back and forth, he's over the top and is channeling Yul Brenner but not cool King and I Yul Benner, more like two weeks from dead Yul Brenner. His family wears Vote Phil shirts, not FOR Phil. Just Vote Phil. Simon hits it on the head "there was no life in this performance".

Who is this person? I've never seen this big headed munchin before... must be a glitch, I'll just change my television....beep.

Hoorah! Viewer question: Leeann of Georgia - how do you choose a song? Boo, Leeann, that was a boring question.

Chris (the one left)
Mr. Saturday Dance - a Duke Ellington song. My favorite illustrators illustrated a book called Ellington was Not a Street. I wish I were reading that book instead of watching Chris and his suspenders smooze aroung stage. He's so...average. His voice, his pointy smile - oh wow, Randy loved it. I don't get it...



Jordin
According to Tony singing in tune is rare these days...hmm, he must have caught Gwen Stefani's new album. Jordin sounds good and I still love her name. She's such a Bond girl. She's only minimally smoozy which is the main problem with this genre. She takes it up and has fun with it. I do too, bravo Jordin. WOW, a decent sign - Sparkin a Jordin! I can only assume that all over America people are lighting up giant jordins.

Gina
Smile by Charlie Chaplin. Here's what I think of when I hear Charlie Chaplin - Marilyn Monroe screwed his son. Here's what Tony B thinks of - soldiars in Iraq. Clearly, he needs to get out more. Gina is made up like a cheap hooker, I think she's got the wrong war. It's not Vietnam sweetcheeks. She's boring and probably in danger of going home this week. You know how I would have done this song? Like an angry demand, like my mother right before church and right after the huge fight we had in the car.

SANJAYA
Aw, his goal is to make American realize that he really can sing. He's "singing" Cheek to Cheek. Yay!!!! They have him gussed up like a total lounge lizard. He looks great and by great I mean drunk and depressed in a smoke filled room at 4 a.m. Would you want him any other way? Oh and he sang some too. Sign reads: Sanjaya is my Papaya - I have no idea what that means but kudos for trying. Did you hear the latest conspiracy? The people in India's call centers are constantly voting from their cubicles. I don't buy this theory because I know for a fact that these people are too busy miscommunicating with cingular customers.

Haley
Viewer question: Are you more nervous for the crowd or the judges? Haley cops out and chooses both. Tony rips her a new one since she doesn't understand the song. See the song, is all about loving one person but Haley and her boobies like to play it up for every straight man in the house. She sounds ok, but is acting really dumb. Like a flapper from the 20s - which would be ok if it was 20s week. No scratch that - it would still be annoying. As for her voice? Meh. Oooohhh, the judges don't like it and Simon calls them out on not commenting on the performance than cracks "you've got good legs".


Lakisha
I think she's singing Stormy Weather - oh, yeah, ok she is. It's good but too slow. Ooo, she pulled up her skirt. Haley needs to take a lesson from Kiki. Confident sexpot is always more seductive than loose cheerleader. As usual she rocks.

OK, let's hope next week isn't Mick Jagger or some shit. My prediction - Haley or Gina walk tomorrow.

Shakugan No Shana vol. 1

So, I've decided not to post my official review - since "officially" I don't think I own it. Nor do I think Library Journal will come after me but you never know. If you want to read the actual review (thrilling I know) you can check out their Express Reviews on their website.

Anyway, Shakugan No Shana is pretty sad. The artwork is generic and looks computer generated. Now, I'm not totally opposed to this and know that, in fact, most manga/gns go through some computer at some stage - but this was just so canned. A teenager with a copy of Manga Studio could have done it.

The storyline is confusing. And they put everything in quotation marks!!! Boo translators. Part of the problem is that it's a poor adaptation. Apparently, the novel is a big hit. But so was Socretes in Love and the manga of that just sucked balls.

The final verdict - no reason to bother.

The anime looks very cool though....