God, I am so sick of these themes based around the people they get. Next week, country. Gross. And there's already a show about country idols. I wish they would go back to actual entertaining themes or be themeless and just let these guys wail. It's not like the "master" classes are helping any.
Anyway, we start off with...
Melinda which is just as well - let's get it over with. She's singing Sway me Now and trying to be sexy, "I'm so not sexy"....I didn't want to be the one to say it but since you said it first.... Having my grandmother's hairstyle isn't helping her case at all. But her voice and the way she's singing this song? Pretty amazing. She finally drops the act and seems comfortable in the spotlight. Dare I say it - am I "swayed?"
Kiki - in bright red lipstick, of course. We get a whole schitck with J Lo teaching her how to say "conga", as if. WOW BOOBS! Why do people do this song? It's that really fast one by, who else, Ms. Estevan. Want to know something sad? I used to adore this song because I thought the lyrics went "love to hear her passion, love to hear it" and I thought it was about a woman who maybe lived underneath a hot latin couple who liked to have crazy loud sex to music and she would listen to it and get into the 'beat wink wink' and manage to have a good old time herself. But, thanks to this show and the number of people who can't sing this song fast enough, I now know that the lyrics are "love to hear percussion" and the song is just about liking drums and dancing. Kiki is of course butchering it but the band is doing a nice job, maybe even some authentic Mexicans in that group. What do her parents shirts say?
Chris - singing Smooth by Rob Thomas and Santana. What would be really cool is if Santana was there or hell, even Rob Thomas. But instead we get Lopez and Chris Richardson. I know. Ew, he made the hourglass sign. And. He sucks. He can't sing this song at all. You know what else? I have had it with that red light.
Haley - god, those shorts. She's singing another Gloria song, Feel the Beat. Can't go fast enough and over compensates with shouting. She blows. I'm so glad she went home. If this were an Act Like a Parade Horse Idol, she would win.
Phil - who's got a major boner for J Lo. Speaking of, why does she keep looking at the camera? He's singing Maria. I hate this song. I guess he sounds ok, downright genius by his standards. What's with the hat? Stupid phil and his stupid hats!
Jordin - ANOTHER Gloria Estevan song. She looks good but I'm changing the channel...
Blake - awww, ok he can be kind of cute. A decent fansign - Shake N' Blake! I like it. He sounds good and owns the song, per usual. I like him this week.
Is Paula wearing a wig?
Sanjaya - he's grown some facial hair! They are trying to make him look as Mexican as possible - hahahhaha. It's brilliant. And we have to give him some credit because he's the only contestant to actually sing something in Spanish. He does it well too. Next week Danny and I are going to start voting for him, since it's getting down to the wire. He handles all the criticism and Ryan's assholiness really well.
That was the show. Of course, I left out all the self-congratulatory crap that is surrounding Idol Gives Back.
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